Downhill at 24? This boy wants more, more, more…

Today is my 24th birthday. One little year away from having ran around this giddy globe for a quarter of a century. I hadn’t given too much thought to this fact until, in recent weeks, the repetition of the phrase, “It’s all downhill from here, mate”, has caused me a snippet of distress. It’s not the words that have rattled me, rather the steely, serious stare of those who have commented, followed by a shuffling of the feet and a peer down at the floor, “I’m serious. Trust me. I know”, they all seem to warn.
Surely this can’t be so? I’m still in my ‘early’ twenties. Still racing around after young lasses. Still playing FIFA with young rascals. Still, I believe, a young man.
Having just upped sticks from familiar Manchester, moving to the bright lights of mysterious London, surely my adventure is only just commencing. Lots of tiny place names pepper my tube map. Each one awaiting a visit from me. All inviting a different expedition for a different day. The pubs, the clubs, the churches, the rivers and the tramps. I wanna see them all.
This time last year I was juggling in the doorway of a toy shop, sneering at the little scallywag kids darting around my ankles, flinging bouncy balls across my nose. Today, I’m a budding journalist. A pivotal member of the Equivalent. Possibly the most genius collection of childish oddballs in the whole of Hillingden. And I like it.
As I strolled to collect my morning paper, I bumped into around five buddies, guys and gals, all smiling, waving, wishing me a happy birthday. I felt like that chocolate fella on the Lynx adverts. But with a better moustache. A new day. A new year. It’s ever so enthralling.
So, to those who forewarn the slippery slope of the 24 year old, I say, “Nay! I am the Archbishop of ambition. My journey is at it’s onset!”
All downhill from here? Fiddlesticks. I’ve never been so bloody excited.

onwards and upwards!

onwards and upwards!


"The Equivalent is so full of in-jokes, it must only be funny to the authors themselves" - Keith Somerville, as quoted in Sleeveless Top Enthusiasts Weekly.


Want to get in touch with The Equivalent? Well, thank god for the boffins working behind the scenes, as they have devised an ingenious method. Simply email:


Job offers always go down particularly well

December 2008
« Nov   Jan »

%d bloggers like this: