The blandest of car crashes

“Learn to see in another’s calamity the ills which you should avoid.”
Publilius Syrus
(~100 BC)

These words of wisdom are meaningless.

Today I watched another’s calamity that should have avoided me. It was 11.50am, I had just completed my journey from home to University and was in the process of locating a vacant parking position when a terrible incident occurred. It is almost unspeakable, unrepeatable. Well definitely my heated response was!

The car in front of me decided to brake, stop to a halt and then reverse into me. It was all in slow-mo, like a Nicklas Bendtner turn. I could see it happening, it was inevitable, but part of me thought it couldn’t happen, it was too ridiculous. The car just kept reversing and reversing, until it reversed too far.

I jumped out of my car in sheer panic. Could my little mincey car be damaged? Will it be OK? Will it live to live another day? I suggest if anyone is faint hearted or squeamish then they shouldn’t look at the next image as it is very graphic.

pull up to my bumper baby!!

pull up to my bumper baby!!

Now you are all probably thinking it’s only a little crack and you would be right! The driver and I have decided to settle out of court for a princely sum obtained from the cash machine outside the union. I plan to buy a new pine fragrance smelly, to mask the glove box smell and spend the rest during man hour.

As some of you may be aware I cannot give any further details regarding this incident as the matter was settled out of court under those specific terms. If any of you are interested in reading up similar legal cases I suggest looking at Cromwell v Bumpy Carriage Hemorrhoid Treatments PLC (1645) which can be found in Phil Seamen’s law book.


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December 2008
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